dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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