the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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