Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
