Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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