She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
