So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
