READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize