he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
