btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
