about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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