THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
