note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
