like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
