When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
