Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
