Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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