do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
