The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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