just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
