did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
