He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize