Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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