Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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