do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
