the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
