mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
