love makes seman taste better
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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