so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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