And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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