You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it penis luge time yet?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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