Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
