haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
