You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
