He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize