The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
