return my video game
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
