It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
