Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
