I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
