Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize