and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize