try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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