Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
