You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
