Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Randomize
