I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
