Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
