I hate all girls vehemently.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
