so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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