I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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