it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
