Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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