just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I need water and some morals
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
