Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Couch. On fire.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
