Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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