She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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