when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Ketchup is God's man juice
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
