That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
