Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
