Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
