I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize