i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I supernannyed him into submission
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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