No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
